My therapist told me I need to find healthy coping mechanisms.

My current one is just doomscrolling Zillow listings I can't afford.

I told my therapist I've been struggling to practice self-compassion

So she charged me extra for being mean to myself during the session

I was having an existential crisis about the future of humanity.

Then I remembered I have a group chat dedicated to complaining about rising gas prices, and suddenly everything felt a little more manageable.

I just got a raise, but it's all relative

because now I can afford ramen noodles twice a week instead of once