My new fitness trainer is really intense. She says the key to a great session is to get really low, push hard against resistance, and focus on those long, deep thrusts for maximum benefit.

Apparently, I'm going to be an amazing competitive rower.

My new Pilates instructor told me I need to really engage my core, get deep into my pelvic floor, and then slowly release it with control.

I'm still not sure what a 'hundreds' exercise is, but I'm getting quite good at it.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more spontaneous in bed.

So I just started shouting 'SURPRISE!' every time I came.

I've been dating a professional archer, and she's been teaching me about the art of precision and follow-through.

But honestly, it's all about finding the right target and hitting it repeatedly until you finally get a bullseye.