I've been trying to learn how to say no without apologizing,

but so far I've only mastered saying 'I'm so sorry, no' without apologizing for the apology.

I went on a date with a guy who said he was 'really into photography'

But his Instagram was just 12 pictures of himself, and one blurry sunset

I lost my keys this morning and was running frantically late.

But instead of panicking, I just stood perfectly still, closed my eyes, and waited for the slow-motion flashback to reveal where I'd left them. It worked, almost too well.

I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to say they're 'entrepreneurs'

But it's just code for 'I'm unemployed and playing video games in my mom's basement'