My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'

I've been working on my financial literacy.

Mostly so I can understand *exactly* why I'll never own a home.

I finally achieved financial stability.

Now I can afford the premium subscription to my anxiety app.

I've been searching for a affordable apartment

but it seems the only thing I can afford is a participation trophy for trying