My boomer parents told me to invest in real estate.

Now my single houseplant counts as my entire property portfolio.

My boss told me to 'manifest a positive outcome'

when I asked for a raise.

I've been practicing mindfulness in therapy to manage my anxiety

now I'm aware of every thought, including the one that says I'm still not doing the dishes

I've been working on building intimacy in therapy,

but my partner just got a notification that I've been 'typing...' for 20 minutes.