My wife always tells me I'm terrible at home improvement projects.

But last night, she said I was really good at handling a stud.

I've been dating a clockmaker, and she's always trying to wind me up

My girlfriend told me she wanted to move in together to 'take our relationship to the next level.'

I said, 'Great, now you can finally see how long it takes for me to get off when I'm not faking it.'

I've been taking private lessons from a professional clockmaker

and she's been teaching me how to wind people up