Why did the man bring a compass on his date?

He wanted to take their relationship in a new direction.

I told my girlfriend she was amazing in bed, and she asked me to be more specific.

So I said, 'You're great at hiding the evidence, but sometimes I feel like I'm the one being investigated.'

I've been dating a girl who's a master gardener, and she's always trying to get me to help her with her roots, especially the ones that are really deep and need a lot of attention.

Now our relationship is really growing, and I'm finding myself getting wrapped up in her vines.

A man and a woman walked into a bar, and the bartender looked up and said, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' The woman smiled and said they were on their first date, and the man had promised to show her a great time.

So he pulled out a condom and said, 'Let's get started on the main course.'