I've been dating a girl who's into erotic photography, and she asked me to pose for her.

Now I'm a model, but only in the classical sense – I'm only good for a few positions.

Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more passionate and put more effort into our sex life.

I told her, 'Baby, I'm putting in all the effort *I've got*. You want more, you gotta start paying me.'

My date told me she loved a man who could really handle his tools, get down and dirty, and wasn't afraid to get his hands on some really tough nuts.

She just needed help fixing her car engine.