I've been dating a girl who's into bondage, and I have to say, it's been a real commitment.

My neighbor called me late last night, sounding desperate. She said her pipes were really backed up, and she just couldn't get it wet enough to clear the blockage. She asked if I could come over with something long and hard to really get in there and work it until everything flowed smoothly again.

Turns out her drain was clogged, and she needed a plumbing snake.

My wife told me she prefers it when I go down on one knee.

She says it shows I'm really committed to tying the knot.

I've been dating a girl who's a sex therapist, and she's always trying to diagnose our problems in the bedroom.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to bill me by the hour.