What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner — it was just gathering dust.

I decided to take my kids to the air show, and as we were watching the planes fly by, one of them asked me how pilots learn to navigate through the clouds. I told them it's all about getting a little

fog-getful of their surroundings

So I was helping my kids with their homework and we were learning about different types of clouds, like cumulus and stratus. My son asked me if all clouds were good at hiding things. I thought for a moment and then said

they're great at covering their bases!