Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two tired!

What do you call a belt made of watches?

A waist of time.

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

and he said it was a shell of a job!