I finally found a dress with actual, functional pockets yesterday.

I almost didn't buy it, because I wasn't sure I was ready for that level of commitment to practicality. My phone usually just lives in my bra.

My morning commute isn't just traffic.

It's the opening credits of my own indie film, complete with a custom soundtrack, dramatic lighting, and me staring pensively out the window, knowing that *this* is the montage where I find my true calling.

I love that corporate dress codes are getting more relaxed these days.

It just means I can spend 20 minutes trying to find the *perfect* blazer to make my 'dressed-up' sweatpants look professional.

My friend just got new bangs and asked me if they made her look younger.

I took a deep breath, calculated the optimal response time between 'immediate enthusiastic lie' and 'brutal honesty that ends a friendship,' and finally said, 'They definitely... *frame your face*!'