I've been dating a girl who's a professional arborist, and she's always trying to get me to branch out and try new things in the evening

My dad took me fishing for the first time last weekend.

He told me the secret was to get a good, firm grip on the rod, bait the hook just right, cast it out deep, and then reel it in slow and steady until you feel a good tug.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional cartographer, and she's always trying to help me find my way

but it turns out she's been mapping out our entire relationship to get to the one place I didn't know I was going: a long-term commitment

I told my girlfriend she was amazing in bed, and she asked me to be more specific.

So I said, 'You're great at hiding the evidence, but sometimes I feel like I'm the one being investigated.'