My girlfriend told me she wanted me to tease her more in bed.

I said, 'Alright, but you're not getting an orgasm until you finally fix that leaky faucet.'

My financial advisor told me I need to be more aggressive with my assets...

...and diversify my portfolio by spreading it around.

My new nutritionist told me to make sure I get a good, deep swallow with every meal.

I told her I already do that, but usually with a different kind of protein.

I've been dating a girl who's into tantric sex, which is all about prolonging the experience.

Now I know why her Netflix subscription is still active after 6 months of us watching the same episode of 'Stranger Things'.