He told me he’s 'so over' all the superficiality and fake stuff on social media.

His last Instagram post was a picture of him holding a single coffee mug, staring contemplatively out a window, with the caption '#deepthoughts #morningvibes #unfiltered.'

My last breakup was a real cinematic masterpiece.

I had the dramatic monologue, the slow-motion walk away, and even waited for the rain. But then my ex yelled, 'You forgot your reusable water bottle!' and completely ruined the mood.

He told me he was too busy to text back sometimes because he was 'really focused on his hustle.'

Then I saw his Instagram story of him rating different kinds of frozen pizza for an hour.

He told me he was looking for a woman with a 'great sense of humor' on his dating profile.

Turns out that just meant someone who laughs at all his *okay* jokes.