My dad took me fishing for the first time last weekend.

He told me the secret was to get a good, firm grip on the rod, bait the hook just right, cast it out deep, and then reel it in slow and steady until you feel a good tug.

Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.

I was trying to set up my new home entertainment system last night.

My friend, who's an electrician, said I just needed to make sure all my connections were really tight.

My girlfriend asked me what the difference was between me and a vibrator.

I told her, 'Well, I can make you breakfast the next morning.'