Why did the clock go to the therapist?

It had too many ticks.

So I was at the store today with my kids, and we saw a huge display of eggs. The kids were cracking each other up, making jokes about eggs, and we started talking about omelets and scrambled eggs. I asked the store manager if they had any special deals on eggs, and he said

they were egg-cellent values

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

Why did the cat join a band?

Because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist.