My career counselor said I needed to figure out how to get ahead in life.

I told her I thought I was already quite proficient at it.

I've been dating a girl who's into tantric sex, which is all about prolonging the experience.

Now I know why her Netflix subscription is still active after 6 months of us watching the same episode of 'Stranger Things'.

My dentist told me I needed a deep cleaning.

I told him I thought he was only interested in my teeth.

Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.