This dude on Hinge listed his biggest red flag as 'drama queens.'

His entire profile was basically a subtweet manifesto about exes and 'toxic people.'

I saw a TikTok where a woman showed her 'five-minute, natural glow' makeup routine.

Five minutes for her, maybe. For me, that's five minutes just to decide if I even *need* to put on a bra today.

My therapist told me I needed to 'be present' and 'live in the moment.'

So now I just aggressively stare at my to-do list, convinced I'm practicing mindfulness.

I love that corporate dress codes are getting more relaxed these days.

It just means I can spend 20 minutes trying to find the *perfect* blazer to make my 'dressed-up' sweatpants look professional.